Waking Up Blind

Michael was waking up from his medically enduced coma. I was waiting by his bedside. He was disoriented and didn’t know why he was in the hospital. It took awhile to explain to him that he had fallen out of a tree and had been injured. He resisted the idea and told me to get him his ballcap and a beer and he’d be good to go. Everyone in the room got a good laugh out of that.

During the day, he was rubbing his eyes alot. He told me later that he had shut one eye to rub the other and everything was dark. He opened both eyes and could see a little. He shut the one eye again and again darkness enshrouded him. He told the nurse and soon a flurry of doctors entered his room. They pointed light pens in his eyes and ran him through a battery of tests. By the end of the day the verdict was clear. Michael was totally blind in his right eye and has less than 10 percent of sight in his left.

Adjusting to limited sight took time … and patience … and grace. Michael’s sight was like looking through a tube. Very little to each side and just a narrow piece from top to bottom. His periphreal vision was non existant, what was normal lighting to me was dark to him. Colors blurred into each other and he couldn’t follow fast action on a screen anymore. I learned that I needed to close cupboard doors in the kitchen or he’d be forever banging his head on them. Things needed to have a home and not moved around because he had trouble scanning an area looking for things. Nineteen years later I still forget how much he can’t see. What I take for granted, he has lost forever.

We started adjusting our way of life. Adaptation was the name of the game. I became the driver. I offered to help him locate his glasses, phone or keys when he mislaid them. He no longer helped as much with the house and yard. Dishes he could clean, vacuuming or mopping, not so much. He sold off his tree service equipment and went back to school. Twice! We downsized and adjusted. We downsized some more and adjusted again. It was a new season. One we didn’t anticipate, want and on my part, calmly accept.

Michael had less trouble accepting his new life. He heard a sermon about Christ carrying his cross to calvary. The pastor used the word EMBRACE as he referred to Jesus attitude. That spoke to Michael and he decided he too would embrace this cross that the Lord has laid upon him. I marveled at my husband and his godly attitude while I had a pity party on the sidelines. My life was impacted but I hadn’t lost my sight!

Time and God’s nudging led me to accepting the new season we were in. I clung to the Lord as each new challenge presented itself. I needed constant reminders of God’s love and care and He gave them to me. Don’t get me wrong, I had lots of times of griping and complaining, but the Lord would gently correct me and lead me back to a place of thankfulness. Michael could have died from his fall or been paralyzed. He could have never been able to work again. He could have been totally blind. I was (and am) thankful that none of those things happened.

I learned (once again) that I was not captain of my destiny. I could plan my life all I wanted, but I was not in control. I leaned into my heavenly Father who is in control, who is sovereign over all. Who has a plan for my life and our family. Who knows the lengths of my days. Who has given me a future and a hope.

And I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, In paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains, These are the things I will do and I will not leave them undone.

Isaiah 42:16

2 thoughts on “Waking Up Blind

  1. My friend, thank you for sharing more of this testimony with us. How good God is in the midst of the hard. I needed this reminder.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s